Narrowing down the best photos was hard because our photographer Lenka did such an amazing job at capturing every detail of these unforgettable moments. I always heard a mother & her child’s love is like no other & I completely understand now. May 22, 2018 was by far the best day of my life. Darius came into the world weighing 7lbs 14 oz. He loves to be held & is the biggest cuddler. He really only sleeps if he is cuddled up on us or while he is breastfeeding. It has been amazing & he really is such a good baby. Even though I wake up every 3-hours & feel like a complete zombie, it is all SO worth it.
I knew I was having a c-section because in the middle & towards the end of my pregnancy I was told I had placenta previa. Placenta previa is when the placenta covers the cervix which causes the inability to do a natural birth. When I was told I had to do a c-section I was so nervous but I am glad I did & that we live in a day & age where c-sections are an option. As long as the baby is healthy & arrives safely that is all that mattered to me. I got to the hospital at 5:30a.m. in the morning so I can get prepped for the procedure which began at 7:30a.m. I was laying in the prep room on some feel good medicine & one of the nurses came in to start my IV & I am telling you this lady did not know how to do it! 4 tries later & she finally got it. I was starting to get a slight anxiety feeling but I started listening to his heart beat on the monitor & was so focused on soaking that in that my worries went away. (I would look forward to my doctors appointments just so I can listen to his heart beat). Lenka, walked in & her presence was so happy & sweet. I am so glad she was there to document my entire birth story with such beautiful images & share with us the best experience of our life. She was such a pleasure to be around.
I looked at my doctor outside of the procedure room & asked if he was ready. I walked in the procedure room as “Shape of You” by Ed Sheeran was playing through the surround sound. I felt the energy of all the surgeons as they were each preparing to do their role in that room to make everything happen so perfectly. I started singing on my happy medicine to “Shape of You” on the table as I was getting my epidural. I heard so many stories about epidural experiences & luckily I had a woman who had been doing that for 40+ years, & she did it better then I thought. They laid me down & the song “Hello” by Adele came on. As I’m listening to the lyrics “Hello from the other side” while the procedure was starting, I was holding Daryoush’s hand to the point were he said I was breaking his fingers I was squeezing them so tightly. I wanted everything to go so perfectly & to hear his first cry. Once he came out I felt like everyone left the table except for my doctor & his assistant to finish cleaning me up that I asked the woman who gave me the epidural to hold my hand. She told me no at first when I asked her to hold my hand, then a few seconds later she was holding it telling me I did great. I was hearing everything going on while they were cleaning him up. I remember someone saying he is beautiful, that he had his own personal hair stylist in the womb, his toes are long, he looks like me, he’s the perfect weight, & just listening to him cry in sequence with Adele singing on the surround sound was everything. I started to tear up in pure happiness. Once I held him it was like everything & everyone else canceled out, I was so absorbed into him. He is everything I imagined & more. I felt the most intense connection I have ever felt, it was the best feeling in the entire world knowing I created him.
I stayed in the recovery room for two hours while they took him to the nursery. I had to stay in recovery until I can feel my toes again. After waiting in what felt like an eternity in recovery, I got to go get settle down in my room & hold him. I immediately got to nurse him & it was so so amazing. Words can not express how much love I felt getting to nurse him & bond, it felt like we instantly had a connection as his eyes stared into mine. I am so grateful to be able to breastfeed. Nursing is my favorite thing to do & I love to have that time with him.
I stayed four days in the hospital & we are home & settling in now. He has us laughing all day at his little expressions. He gets so fussy when he is looking for the nipple, he grunts, & shakes his head quickly back & forth to find it & it makes us laugh so hard each time. We are in heaven cuddling with him all day long, admiring him, taking photos, & having lazy days, just the three of us. Stella loves him & thinks it is her baby. She always makes sure he is okay when he cries, & looks at us with such concern that he is okay. I can’t go in another room without her right there making sure her baby is okay. haha Sarabi lays in her bed & is giving us our alone time. I am so excited for them to be best buddies.
All photos by Lenka Dinozzi